Here’s a step-by-step craft tutorial to create something, well, simply divine and oh-so springlike. You can thank me later.
What you’ll need:
1 – potty-trained 3-year-old toddler
1 – nursing 9-month-old baby
1 – living room sofa out of direct view of the bathroom
1 – bathroom within earshot
1 – roll of toilet paper
1. Toddler should be positioned in bathroom. Baby will be positioned on your cross-legged lap on sofa.
2. Wait for stars to align.
3. Toddler will exclaim urgent need to go to the toilet while baby concludes nursing and follows that up with much-needed sleep.
4. Realize you’re now pinned to the sofa unless you want to wake the baby. Assess your luck lately, and choose to stay seated. Hope all goes well in said bathroom.
5. Let 2-3 minutes go by.
6. Note that things have become peculiarly quiet in the bathroom. Call out to toddler to see what’s going on in there. Look blankly into space while you hear no reply. Call out again. Repeat if necessary.
7. Wait for gleeful toddler to return from bathroom. Note that toddler mentions nothing unusual.
8. Let 10 minutes pass at which point baby randomly wakes up from nap, now rendering you fully mobile again.
9. Completely forget the last 20 minutes of life. Go into bathroom to brush your teeth.
10. Look down with stunned surprise. Forget to take a photo at this point because you are distracted and slightly humorless. Realize later that it would have been a tutorial-wothy photo.
11. Completely forget to brush your teeth.
12. In an exasperated state, quickly roll up the massive pile of white paper just to get it out of the way. Mumble to yourself for added effect.
And there you have it: a B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L gigantic toilet paper rose.
Happy unexpected crafting!